grow up already


This pink cloud
August 14, 2007, 2:58 pm
Filed under: alcohol, quarter life crisis

is starting to wear off. Life is once again boring, hard and kind of lonely. I have been dreaming about drinking. I’ve been having long conversations in my head about when it might be ok to drink again (on vacation? In five years?).

I’ve been bored.

Alcohol is one of life’s greatest distractions. It shields inadequacies about self and situation. Without it, certain things are so fucking obvious: I am not a writer, I go days without the pressure of skin against skin, I do not have any money. And I have absolutely nothing to blame these things on. Without it, it’s obvious we are simply standing around but now nothing tricks me into wanting to stay.

I know there’s more to giving something up than this. I feel like I traded in self-destruction for…well, nothing. Something for nothing.

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